Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
