i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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