I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
