isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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