I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
