she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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