Duck Duck Cougar?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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