Dual....:-)
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I AM VODKA MAN
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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