I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
