i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
