I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
