I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
