If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
