My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
