Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
