THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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