Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
