haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
