wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
