Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
