Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
