so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize