margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
