names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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