I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
