How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize