Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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