new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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