I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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