I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
