take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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