i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
