all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
