Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
