you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
