i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
