...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Will you blow on my dice?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
