Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
