her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
only if we run a train.
done.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
