He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
