this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
