you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
