Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize