You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
