We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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