How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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