saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
