I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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