Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
