IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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