Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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