Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
