We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
