Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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