her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
