it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
