Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Fuck appropriateness.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
