exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
