we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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