I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
