1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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